armlessbear.com

Sleep Studies and Other Horrors

So Wednesday night, I had a “sleep study.” Really, for truth in advertising, they should be called a bad night’s period of not-very restful sleep-like state now with EXTRA WIRES.
Ugh.
I had wires taped to my head, chest, back, and legs, a pulse-ox monitor on my finger and a microphone taped to my neck (for snoring decibels).
There were something like 6 wires alone on my head and a thingy taped under my nose to measure breathing.
I slept horribly in a pull-down bed only to find out that I do not, in fact, have sleep apnea.
I believe this is a good thing since I will never be forced to wear one of those horrible CPAP thingies to help me breathe.
And the worst part? They wake you up at 5am, unwire you (it feels like you’re getting an all-over body waxing) and throw you out the door.
Yeah.
Not so much with the fun.

Hey, Lookatmeeeeee, I'm in the Washington Post

In the style section, but you have to read to the end of the column to find me. In the print edition, I’m right next to the comics. How cool is that? Wheeeeeeeeeee!
FYI, the ride-along passenger was Scott Komplin. Who else would have been able to lift that ridiculously heavy sleeper-sofa?
Now I gotta go buy a few copies of this for posterity.

Unintentionally Ironic Comment of the Day?

Or is he being obscurely sarcastic? From the AP:
RALEIGH, N.C. — Venturing into foreign policy, Governor Mitt Romney yesterday told a largely Republican audience that Islamic terrorists ‘‘want to bring down our government” and ‘‘want to put in place a huge theocracy.”

Mr. Romney, I do believe the terrorists are winning.

Appropriate reaction?
Laugh til it hurts,
then curl into a little ball and weep.

to Hell in a Handbasket

So I was feeling like I ought to write something, but I don’t know what, exactly. Then I stumbled up on this appalling article. APPALLING!
Indiana wants to legislate the ability for women to get pregnant outside of normal intercourse. The gist of the article is that if you wish to have IVF or any other sort of medically-created pregnancy, you have to be married and get a certificate to present to a doctor! Getting pregnant without one would be a misdemeanor!
I don’t even know where to begin.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?
I know Indiana can be a bit bible-belt fundie, but OMFG, could this even pass Constitutional tests? If I lived in Northern Indiana, I’d want to cede from Indiana and become part of Illinois.
Maybe we could break the South off and send all the crazies, and I mean CRAZIES, down there.
Like that Christian Exodus to South Carolina, except it’s mandatory for anyone who is one of those nutty young-earth fundamentalists. I’d be quite happy to let them have their own fundamentalist Christian Taliban and see how long it takes them to implode — as long as its all in an area I don’t care about and they’re quite happy to evangelize within their own borders. Also, they’re not allowed to have nuclear weapons.