armlessbear.com

Things I never thought I'd say

“ADAM, Stop shoving dollar bills in mommy’s cleavage!”

2 $1.00 bills lying innocently on the table.
1 mother in tank top
1 toddler who has observed his father waaaaaay toooo many times playing with mommy’s boobies who is, incidentally, a bit hyper

My son is 19 months old and a breast fetishist. I swear. When he’s tired and a female picks him up with an open-collared shirt, he’ll snuggle up and stick a hand down the shirt in search of warm cleavage. I’ve had embarrassed women at Kindercare attempt to explain, in broken English, how they TRY to stop it, but he keeps putting his hands back. What can you do?

Yep, thats my son. Enjoying for now what he’ll be slapped for later.

Gardening

In my quest to not have our front yard resemble the front yard from Malcolm in the Middle, I spent $127.00 at Home Depot buying some plants — mostly perrenials. This time I managed to NOT kill my lower back digging and pulling. So now I have Azaleas, Peonies and Lillies as well as some green plants whose names I don’t know and a few pretty annual flowers.
Ugh.
Now, if we could convince our neighbors to trim their damn plants, our entire row of townhouses would be very pretty.
All that is left for me to do, once I get the flowers in the ground, is to kill the weeds and plant more grass seed. We have HUGE dead spots on our lawn from where I pulled the stupid wild onions out weeks ago. The original grass seed did not grow. I think the birds finally ate it.
Hopefully, by the time we move out of NoVA, I’ll have acquired enough gardening skills to take on a single-family home elsewhere.
Maybe next weekend, I can convince Mike to look into creating an herb garden on the deck. Mmm… Fresh parsley.