armlessbear.com

GET THIS KID OUTTA ME!

On Tuesday I had unproductive contractions for FIVE AND A HALF HOURS! Does anyone know what its like to attempt to work through FIVE AND A HALF HOURS of contractions spaced between 4 and 18 minutes apart?
It wasn’t fun
And whats worse, by the end of it I was thoroughly expecting to have a baby before the next day was done and then POOF! They stopped! I had a contraction that lasted for 12 minutes and I was convinced I was going to break water all over the sofa and then nothing! NOTHING!
This kid is having some fun before he’s even old enough to understand what “sadistic sense of humor” means.
And now….
I need sleep.
I need not to work anymore.
I’ve officially set my last day at work at October 3rd. The only thing that would change that is labor before that day. (pleasepleasepleaseplease).

Tonight is my breastfeeding class. I don’t quite know why Mike is supposed to go with me, but I’m sure it will be awkward and squeamish for all men involved.

I wonder if we have to whip our boobs out in class?

Perhaps given the large and tender nature of many a pregnant woman’s breasts perhaps “whip out” is not the most accurate phrase to use.
I wonder if we’ll have to hoist out breasts from their structural integrity fields and pretend to feed a baby doll.
Somethings are even too weird/horrible for me to imagine!