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WOKKAWOKKAWOKKA

So on Mike’s advice I took the “What Muppet are you? Quiz”.

Apparently, I’m Fozzie.

You are Fozzie!
Wokka Wokka! You love to make lame jokes. Your sense of humor might be a bit off, but you’re a great friend and can always be counted on..

Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

What are you? Take the quiz and post your results!

Babble...nothing more

Well, its a mercifully short 4 day week this week. The long weekend could have been great had it not rained constantly. And holy shit, how about those thunderstorms Sunday night? I had nightmares about tornados all night!

I managed to pack 9 boxes of books, dvds and cds. Only 40 boxes more to go! Aaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhh! Why do we have so much stuff?!!!!!!!!!!!

On the ass-front (or is that back?) i can sit today without pain. Tonight, if its not pouring, Mike and I will attempt to ride a few more miles than before.

Last night I dreamed about an ex-boyfriend. It was very weird. So this morning I was driven to waste valuable time doing google searches for him. I think he’s an alcoholic. He’s also 6 years older than when I first met him and he still looks like he’s 17.

Must work.

Ow Ow Ow...my ass is killing me!

No, PERVERTS, not for THAT reason… or that one either…

So today Mike and I went out and bought brand-spanking new Trek bikes. We even went out for a little bike ride. Wow…its one thing to know you’re out of shape, but quite another to feel it…IN YOUR ASS! Why can’t they make bike seats with comfy chairs?

Baby steps… I keep telling myself baby-steps. A couple miles on day one will progress to tens of miles in a few months. Anyway, we went to the totally awesome Spokes, Etc in Vienna to buy our bikes. These people are AWESOME. You can test-drive the bikes and they help with everything. We even had 3 staff people helping us mount our bike rack. If you want a bike in the DC area, go there.

OK, we must prepare ourselves for Wolf Trap tonight.

OH…. by the way…we saw Episode II last night. What the fuck is everyone so whiny about? It didn’t suck anymore than the average movie. It won’t win any Oscars for acting or directing or screen play, but so what? We both had fun last night. Admittedly, we may be a little geekier than the average guy, but we also don’t expect too much from LucasFilm. Have a little sense of fantasy! Oh, and the count now is: one limb down for Annakin, more limbs and lungs to go before he’s that sexy-evil man in black.

They're all out to get me!

Or they’re coming to take me away!

Today is the worst day….EVER! At every turn I am being thwarted! Old operating systems that don’t see SCSI cards, 8 bad floppy disks, 2 bad floppy drives, slow computers, and more problems in the last 5 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS GIVING ME STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOTS OF STRESS!!!!!!!

And to top it all off, well….. my cholesterol levels aren’t so great. They’re not bad, could be a lot worse, but blah. Welcome to my world. I’ll break ‘em down:

• HDL 73…should be over 35, over 40 is great and anything over 60 is Fan-fucking-tastic. So yay me!


• LDL (the bad kind!) 139. Should be under 130, the lower the better. Preferably under 100. Not horrendous, not fabulous!


• Triglycerides or VLDLs. um… 228. Should be under 150. YIKE! Damnit!


• Overall cholesterol: 258. Should be under 200, fabulous if under 160. fuckfuckfuck!

so the only reason they’re not flipping out is that my HDLs are so high, they’re protecting me from the bad stuff. yay me!

I’d give up redmeat and McDonalds except I don’t eat there. I’d give up 2% milk and butter, except I already did ages ago. I’d give up eggs, except I already don’t eat them because they make me want to vomit. I’d start eating only fish, turkey and chicken, except I already do.
Sooooooooooooo…..whats a girl to do?

I'm called little buttercup!

Yay! We have a 3 day weekend coming up! Mike and I have tickets to see H.M.S. Pinafore this weekend at Wolf Trap.(or Voolf Traahpp..vat eess zis Voolf Traahpp?). I’ve never seen any Gilbert and Sullivan before. I hope it doesn’t suck. The rest of the weekend I get to be neurotic and start packing. We move in 27 days! EEK! Given the number of books we have I don’t think trying to keep a semblance of order is quite that crazy. It just saves time unpacking later.

Anyhoo….

NON sequitur alert: I just spilled water on my chest. A lot of it. I was trying to drink water and the bottle leaked! I’m wet. I look like a half-hearted entry in a wet t-shirt contest. / end non sequitur.

So yesterday I had my cholesterol checked blah. My dad fall into the hypercholesteremia category. 330! His diet is horrible, or at least it was the last time I was out there. Who fries hamburger in crisco fer chrissakes? But my ever-comforting doctor tells me that his problem is a lot genetics and some bad diet, which is probably why his father dropped dead at 50-something. My mother, on the other hand, has good cholesterol. In fact, everyone on that side of the family does. Pray for good genes for Kirsti. Haven’t (obviously) gotten the results yet or I wouldn’t be on this tirade. I’ll be sure to post them here unless they’re horrendous, then you’ll never know.

Because I’m a borderline-hypochrondriac I’m always convinced something is wrong with me. As it turns out, nothing is wrong with me. Blood sugar: good. Kidneys/liver/gallbladder: normal. No ulcers. Last blood pressure taken after being stuck in rush-hour traffic for 35 minutes when I was only going 4 miles: 128/74. How ‘bout that??! Stress apparently lowers my blood pressure. So as I see it, the only thing left is bad cholesterol. Then my paranoia will be served.

Ok, my wet shirt and I must get back to work. I must engage in blood-pressure lowering stressful work!

On Hiatus

Ok, so I was on a break. I actually had work to do. I got a lovely spring cold. My parents came to visit. I was STRESSED! Its amazing how stressful parents can be! My mother cleaned our place, cooked dinner, mopped my floors and did our laundry! I’m sure you all think thats fabulous, but really, its STRESSFUL!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I’ve had a whole week to adjust to being 30. Last week I had a very nice surprise party arranged by Mike. I also had a nice massage compliments of Mr. Donnelly. But now the glow has worn off. My clear skin now has 2 pimples. (sorry, kiddies, they NEVER go away!). Although I’m sure they’re stress related. And on Wednesday I get to have my cholesterol checked. UGH UGH UGH!

In a month Mike and I will move to a high rise apartment building. CNN is there to tell us that terrorists may target apartment buildings. HEY, look at our big apartment building only miles from the Pentagon! Suddenly I’m very grateful for security locked buildings and restricted access to parking.

OK, time to relax. I’ll blog later!

Happy Birthday to me

Happy Birthday to me…….

Happy F’ing Mothers Day.

Ok, so its not that bad, I’m not a mom, but I did get a free mimosa and a chocolate covered strawberry. Yay.

Mike is still keeping me in the dark about today. If anyone really knows whats happening today, please email me or call me with the details!

T minus 1 day.

Its May 11th. There’s no hiding now.

I’ve had weird dreams lately. 2 nights ago I was being chased by a swarm of angry bumble-bees. Last night I dreamed I was on a John Edwards show (even though I’ve never watched it. What a Con artist!) You could actually see the dead people floating around reliving their bloody lives. I think this is Mike’s fault for wearing a white sheet and going “BOO!” immediately before bed.

As an aside, the other day when I left work a fat, drunken bumblebee was directly in my path and terrorizing me. (I’m allergic to bees, btw) When I veered left, it bumbled left. When I did a left-right fake, it stayed with me. They make look cute, but they’re quite sinister.

On the universe is out to get me “baby alert” this morning when I turned on the TV, guess what TiVo had changed the channel to? Yup, thats right. Comedy Central. And what was comedy central showing in part of this vast baby conspiracy? Yup… She’s Having A Baby. I just have to ask WHAT THE FUCK???!!!

This morning Mike and I did stomach crunches, formerly known as sit-ups. We did 15. Tomorrow 15 more. Maybe someday we’ll have Abs of Steel. I’d settle for Abs of slightly harder than jello consistency.

Anyway, I’m off to pamper myself with a new haircut and highlights. Tomorrow Ryan Donelly is treating me to a birthday Swedish massage. I LOVE Ryan Donnelly.

At least there's always someone older.***

***Unless you’re some weird superhuman person who lives to be 150.

But in normal cases, there are people who are older. Like Scott "Princess" Komplin who has turned the very young age of 33 today. Thats right, Scott is 33! I shouldn’t make too much fun though. I remember teasing him about turning 30 and look where I am. But at least he’s older. Ha-ha! If you’re bored or nice or whatever, feel free to send Scott a fabulous birthday greeting. Lets also give Scott a round of applause for being one the very few gay men I know who is not anti-baby. YAY SCOTT!!!!

On an aside note, May 24th is our 6 months wedding anniversary. Wow. I wonder what fabulous, romantic getaway Mike is planning? HMMMM…. Hope its a good one. :)

Today in history

For the history buffs, May 8th 1945 was VE-Day. If you don’t know what VE-Day is, shame on you! Read a history book once in a while.

My grandma turned 21 on VE day. I’ll bet it was a hell of a party. My Grandma died a year ago on her birthday so no one got to have a good party for her. She was a hell of a lot of fun her whole life. I hope when I’m in my 70s I can still have a good time, sit down and have a beer or two, and flirt with younger men.

Babies Babies Everywhere!

So my birthday is rapidly approaching. Eh…no big deal I guess. But WHAT THE HELL IS THAT TICKING NOISE? Everywhere I turn there are babies. EVERYWHERE! We were even delivered an American Baby magazine by mistake. I swear I have nothing to do this. OK.. no one was holding a gun to my head and making me watch 4 episodes “Birth Day” on TLC Sunday morning, but I couldn’t help myself. I’m also surrounded by men with pregnant wives. They talk about all the strange things going on. One guys wife wants the Edy’s Lime Frozen Fruit Bars. YUM YUM! I remember last April/May craving pineapple and shrimp! Of course, on the bright side this whole TIKTOKTIKTOK thundering in my head has me drinking water, taking my vitamins, eating vegetables and fruit and even trying to exercise more. Does anyone have any idea what happens to your GI if you start eating massive amounts of veggies? I mean, sure you feel healthier and stuff, but WOW! Roughage.

I’m sure you’re all wondering where kirstin has gone. Sure…I could talk all about how (D)HTML is making me nuts and how I’m learning all sorts of new webskills. I could, but until the universe turns off the Baby Alert, I won’t be able to be a normal person.

Anyway. Wish me a happy birthday. Its coming in 5 days.

Whoopee!

Thirty!

Whatever.

T minus 12 days and counting

AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

Its already damned May-Day. I can’t hide from it now.

The big Three Oh. Thirty. Treinte, Trenta, Trente, Dreizig, Triginta, harminc, tretti, trinta, tr’icet, tredve, dertig.

Crap. Oh well. I know others will soon be joining me and many have gone before me. Still, it sucks to feel age coming up on you.

I’m not ready to be thirty. What the hell happened to my twenties? Were they wasted? Time well spent? Should I have been doing something else? More productive? Less productive? Where’s my big job? Why don’t I have kids yet? Am I too old to have kids? Why does Time Magazine publish horrific articles about declining fertility? Why don’t I feel old? Should I feel old? Do my crows feet show in anything besides the magnifying mirror? Why do I have a hair that grows on my chin once every few months? Am I supposed to be really REALLY responsible now? Is my youth over? Am I becoming the target demographic for minivans and Estrogen TV? Should I hear things like TICK TOCK TICK TOCK everytime I see a cute little kid? Should I tell Mike that I’ve circled the day in my calendar when I’m done with the pill? (tee-hee!)

Whew.

Only 12 days of this and I can return to sanity.