armlessbear.com

First, if you missed the Simpsons on Sunday and were a part of the 90s, particularly a college student I suggest you find it now and prepare to be mocked. Hilarious, but disturbing.

Second, the cable company is stealing my childhood. There is an awful commercial featuring the Scooby Gang (Hanna-Barbera, not Mutant Enemy).

I noted that if cartoon characters actually aged, the aforementioned Scooby Gang would be in their 60s.
Shaggy would probably look like Keith Richards and would probably be about as coherent.
Scooby would have been dead for about 30 years, long since replaced by offspring created in a stoned canine haze.
Daphne would be one of those freaky plastic surgery women with too much collagen, a neck lift, botox, and a permanently surprised face-lift.
Fred would probably have been forced out of the closet in the 1980s and now lives a quiet life with his partner, his toupee, and his giant sunglasses in Northern California.
And Velma… sweet, innocent, asexual Velma. Well, she ditched the glasses, dyed her hair blonde, got a boob job, got into soft-core porn, developed a serious drug and alcohol habit in the early 80s and is now clean and sober and writing a tell-all behind the scenes book from her Scooby days.

Because isn’t this is what has happened to most of the baby boomers who spent too much time in hollywood in the 60s?