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As promised, I will related the odyssey of my Cingular Motorola phone which ended with Mike wiping it down with a Clorox wipe.
Wednesday I got on the wrong bus. I was in a hurry to get home, but was playing solitare on my phone and noticed a bus pull up. Thinking it was one to get me home (since so many get me home) I hopped on, only to realize that I didn’t know where Greenbush was (definitely not near home), but that it would go by Breeze Terrace. I hopped off on Breeze and Old U. Ave and called Mike imploring him to pick me up somewhere along the way and then headed west.
Eventually I stopped at the Open Pantry(Thank You, PAID) to use the rest room, call Mike back, and buy a blue Icee. Somewhere around here I either dropped my phone or left it on the counter at the Open Pantry.
The next day at work I noticed it was missing, but assumed it was at home. Later in the afternoon, I had Mike call it to see if he could locate it in the house. No luck, but a guy did answer the phone and then hang up.
So I called Cingular and sure enough, someone had my phone and had placed many phone calls to Portage, WI in the wee hours of the morning.
I called that number and crankily informed the woman who answered(who claimed she didn’t actually know the guy who called her, but only knew his nickname) that he was using a stolen phone and she ought to let him know that it was going to be turned off and reported as stolen.
Then I started to call my phone OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. Finally, a guy answered and I informed him he had my stolen phone. He told me some young guy sold it to him for $70 at the Paradise. I offered to pay him $50 if he returned it to me, to which he agreed.
“Stan” said he worked at DL Printing and asked if I could meet him there, I asked if he could meet me near Whole Foods since it was close to my house and I would be there within the hour.
When I got home Mike severely chastised me for losing my phone and offering to pay someone stupid enough to buy a cell phone at the Paradise.
Eventually, Mike walked down to Whole Foods to meet “Stan” who said he felt guilty taking the money, so Mike gave him $20 for doing the right thing and returning it.
In the end, my phone and all personal details were wiped off the phone, but Stan kindly left me pictures of himself and his naked, shaved penis on my phone. These photos taken at 4am were presumably for the nice young lady in Portage.
I haven’t deleted them yet. I’m debating what to do with them. I could put them on a CD and take them to DL Printing for color copying and then post them at the Paradise. That seems a bit mean considering he gave it back and didn’t charge me.
If anyone has any other ideas, please let me know. Otherwise, I suspect I’ll delete them sometime today.

I’m sure you now understand why Mike wiped the phone with a clorox wipe though.
The sad thing is, my phone has had a more interesting time in the last 48 hours than I have.