armlessbear.com

Since my website is blocked by the State of WI filters, I wrote this at my desk in notepad so that I could post it later. Now it’s a whole day later, but it bothers me. Yesterday morning after I dropped Adam off at school I was waiting for a bus and looking to see who owned a very distinct car painted to look like a Dodge Charger from a cheesy 1980s TV show. I turned my back to see if a bus was coming when I heard the sound of someone screaming. A parent bringing her child to school was screaming at her daughter. Not the sort of yelling when your kid is about to walk into traffic, but that sort of visceral screaming at another person that usually precedes divorce or homicide. Another mom who was dropping of her son and I just sort of stared at the mom and the obviously scared little girl and then averted our eyes.
I watched in Adam’s window and noticed that this girl was in Adam’s class. I hoped that the teachers gave her lots of hugs today. I hoped all her days being dropped off at daycare weren’t preceded, publicly or privately, by angry screaming mother. I wondered what growing up with an unhinged parent does to your psyche.

Sometimes kids, even my precious little snowflake, get a bit too wild, do unsafe things, or have managed to wear on that last nerve and parents lose their cool and yell at them. Parents, whether we like it or not, acquire that VOICE that makes kids jump.
I have the MOM voice down. Last year I was at Copps with Adam who was constantly sticking his arms out of the cart and touching things. “ADAM! PUT YOUR ARMS DOWN!” Some poor man, probably a few years older than me who was perusing the cereals immediately dropped his arms. I laughed and felt a bit embarrassed. He commented that it was hard not to respond to that tone of voice. I have been scolded by my husband, long suffering that he is, for saying his name in the wrong tone of voice. You’re apparently not supposed to use that tone of voice on your spouse… who knew?

Anyway, I don’t really have a point. We all know life is hard, and some people have lots more stressors than others. Some probably grew up being screamed at and don’t know any better. It just makes me sad when you think about how much potential is being ruined by bad parents.