armlessbear.com

Note: Some of this post may fall into the category of TMI.
Yesterday was a bad day.
I woke up. I went to the bathroom like everyone does everyday.
Except it hurt. A lot. Not good. I hope it’s some weird random side effect from mega doses of Amoxicillin.
I stopped at Walgreens and bought lots of cranberry juice and water.
I call the doctor, they’re pretty sure it’s what I hope it isn’t.
Around 2:30 it became unbearable when it turned pink. I grabbed the first bus at 3:30 out to West Towne Urgent Care.
Since I’ve had both gallstones and un-epiduraled childbirth I think I have perspective on pain.
That’s got to be 3rd on the list of OhMyGodPleaseMakeItStop pain. Every single one of my 6 trips to the bathroom (at urgent care) ended with me seeing stars and whimpering.

Since I was still on the amox for the strep/ear/sinus infection I was given one of the KILL EVERYTHING, systemic antibiotics that is a cousin of the Anthrax killer, Cipro.
A friendly, little, one a day pill called Levaquin — an antibiotic napalm. I also took a urinary tract analgesic called Uristat. Who knew they could make such specific pain killers? It works, too. I love modern medicine.
It turns your pee the color of blood orange juice.

Since Adam is up in Spooner we were having a quiet night. Battlestar Galactica finale (AAAGH!), Scrubs, and then last Friday’s House (just for me).
Round about 10:30 when I put House on I started to feel funny.
Mouth weirdly tingly
Throat feeling not right, like it might be tightening.
I decide to wait and see what happens.
By the time House is wrapping up my throat feels tighter, my pulse is way faster than it should be and I’m definitely not feeling fine.
In the bathroom I inspect my face for swelling and the rest of me for hives. No hives, but I think my neck looks wrong — it definitely feels wrong.
It’s 11:45 when I decide that this is most likely an allergic reaction to the Levaquin.
Fortunately for me, anaphylactic reactions, like heart attacks and severed limbs are the ticket to a speedy entry to the ER.
I explain my symptoms, I explain about the Strep, and the ear and sinus infection, about Adam and the Impetigo and 9 cases of Strep at his daycare. I lamely explain how I watched House while monitoring my developing symptoms until I decided that this seemed like a mild version of my highly allergic reaction to a wasp sting 19 years ago.
This time I’m spared dropping my pants, laying on my stomach and getting 2 Epi shots in the gluteus maximus — just Pepcid (I know, WTF, eh?), Benadryl and Prednisone. And we wait.
Later I start developing Hives on my stomach and right hand. I am itchy all over.
They give me Claritin and we wait some more.
Around 2:30 they decide I’m not dying, the hives are going away and my vitals are better.
I get a prescription for a much nicer antibiotic, some prednisone, a customer satisfaction survey, and standard ER paperwork with helpful things like “You have been diagnosed with an allergic reaction.”
I filled out my survey and wrote in the comments section “For a midnight trip to the ER I’d have to rate my experience a 10!”
Because if you can’t laugh at the weird shit life throws at you, well, then you’re probably doomed to be miserable.