armlessbear.com

Mike had to go back to work at 6pm and Adam wanted to play outside.
I sent him out to make a mess in the sandbox and I eyed my new Black and Decker Alligator Lopper (See Amazon.com for cool action shots).
I inspected the mess in my backyard and decided it was time to put the new tool to use. I’ll admit I was a little nervous. Mike was gone and Adam can’t dial 911 yet. I mean, it’s not like it was going to jump out of my hands and suddenly saw my toes off or anything, but still I have this irrational fear of severing limbs accidentally.
I learned a few lessons while hacking away at a gigantic bush/shrub/tree thingy in the back yard.
1. Protective eye-wear is a must for future forays into tree branch hacking
2. Wearing something other than open-toed sandals is probably a good idea
3. Wearing a knit sweater is pretty dumb — mine is now infested with little bits of tree and it’s itchy.
4. Twilight is not the best time to do this.
5. I need a wood chipper.
6. It’s good to have a plan for what to do with the wood when you’re done

This THING growing in my back yard is the botanical equivalent of a hydra. It doesn’t have a single trunk, it has about 30 little trunks all going together and each trunk seems to spawn another 50 spindly branches that spawn even longer spindlier branches that tangle all together. Just when I thought I’d cut off the right main branch, I’d realize the problem was yet another branch on the other side. The worst part isn’t even this bush. It’s the vines that have grown up the neighbor’s chickenwire fence and attached themselves to the phone pole and phone wire in the back yard.

Despite the gigantic mess in my back yard, I found the whole exercise therapeutic. I’m hoping it will be nice enough this weekend that I can finish what I’ve started.